The Real Work’s blog is a publication of our Monthly Magic™ “newspaper,” science-backed, neuroaffirming news Child and Family Therapista at Our Collective. Click the link below to subscribe or scroll to read all our posts.
Caregiver Burnout in Sensitive & Neurodivergent Parents
Caring for a neurodivergent child takes a lot, and sensitive and neurodivergent parents often feel it sooner and more intensely. Here's why burnout might hit differently for you, and what helps you refill and potentially prevent burnout from happening again.
What Happens in Play Therapy? An Hour Just for Your Child
Most of a child's day is spent meeting someone else's expectations. Play therapy is built to be the opposite: one hour where your child leads and nothing is asked of them. A former Montessori teacher turned play therapist explains why that is essential for kids.
Helping or Enabling? Accommodating Neurodivergent Kids
Let’s say you’re asking your kid to brush their teeth and it's an immediate meltdown. You hold the line and insist...and 25 minutes later you’re exhausted and so is your kid...but you know they know how to brush. When our kids are attempting to navigate our expectations or are struggling with a task or demand, we as parents are faced with a tough judgement call: would helping or removing the demand support them, or would it interfere with their ability to develop independence? How do we tell?
This month I spoke with Real Work Therapist Janelle Stuvland, LPC, who works primarily with neurodivergent kids and parents here, to help unpack this dilemma and to learn what helps parents navigate this.
Back-to-School Mixed Feelings: The Brain Science.
Excited and nervous. Ready and not ready. Back to school brings mixed feelings for kids and parents alike. Here's what's happening in the brain when two feelings show up at once, and how to make room for both.
What to Say When Your Child Asks "Am I Fat?"
When a child asks, "Am I fat?", they're often asking a much deeper question about belonging, safety, and self-worth. In this research-informed guide, therapist Mick James explores how parents can respond in ways that foster a healthy body image, reduce weight stigma, and strengthen connection. Learn practical, developmentally appropriate strategies for talking with children about body size, health, and self-esteem without shame while helping them build a lifelong relationship of trust with both their bodies and the adults who care for them.
Helping Boys With Anger: A Neurodiversity-Affirming Guide
Boys often learn early that anger is the one feeling they're allowed to show. Therapist Collin Alteneder, LMFT, explains how to help boys understand their brains and emotions from a neurodiversity-affirming perspective.
Heavy Work for Kids: Outdoor Play for Regulation & ADHD
If you’ve ever wondered how to support your child’s energy, focus, or regulation without turning your home into a therapy clinic, this conversation is for you.
In this interview, occupational therapist Diana Fitts, OTR/L shares how one of the most powerful regulation tools for kids, especially those with ADHD, is already all around us: nature.
We explore the concept of “heavy work,” what it actually means for your child’s nervous system, and how everyday outdoor play like carrying logs, climbing, and digging can support regulation in ways that feel intuitive, playful, and effective. You’ll walk away with a clearer understanding of when your child might benefit from this kind of input and simple, doable ways to weave it into your daily rhythms.
What Emotional Regulation Really Means for Kids
Regulation doesn't mean your child is calm and quiet. It means their nervous system can move through big feelings and come back. Here's what regulation looks like in real life, and how co-regulation with a safe adult helps kids get there.
Slowing Down as a Parent: Acceptance and Regulation
When we override our internal signals, we disconnect from ourselves. Slowing down and accepting those signals helps us respond more intentionally.
What Advice Would You Give Parents About Slowing Down and Acceptance?
Kimia reflects:
“The more we try and reject who we are and our needs, they find a way to get louder and harder to ignore. I would advise parents to see a child’s behavior as their way of trying to get a need met. If their body is knocking into you, are they trying to find a way to physically connect to you? And is there a way to accept and offer a way that works for both of you?”
Sensory Overload or Intentional Behavior? The 8 Sensory Systems
There are 8 sensory systems, and they all have specific jobs! Kids who have sensory differences often fall on one or the other end of a spectrum. They may be Sensory Craving/Seeking, or Sensory Avoiding. Take a look at the following signs, and if they are familiar, consider taking a look at our newest resource on the 8 sensory systems to learn more about what your child might be experiencing in one or more system, plus get some activities to do with them.
As play therapists, we make sure to consider individual sensory differences when working with kids, and we make sure to help parents do the same! Here is a quick reminder for things to consider in your environment if your child is showing the above behaviors consistently or after being in specific environments
• need for movement
• noise levels
• sensory stimulation
• Trauma history
After-School Meltdowns and Masking in ADHD & Autistic Kids
Is your child melting down after school? Learn about masking in autistic and ADHD kids and get a practical after-school regulation menu.
Boundaries Series Part 2: Boundaries vs. Limits in Parenting: What's the Difference?
Many people use the terms “boundary” and “limit” interchangeably in the world of parenting. However, from my perspective and experience as a child and family therapist, a boundary and a limit are not the same thing, although there can be overlap between them.
Boundaries Series Part 1: What Is a Boundary? A Child Therapist Explains
“Boundaries” seems to be one of those popular buzzwords these days. You may hear people talking about boundaries on social media, within parenting spaces, or in your own relationships. But when we talk about boundaries… what do we really mean?
Creating a calming bedtime routine
Bedtime can be the hardest part of the day for many kids and parents.
Some kids seem to get more and more wound up, hyper, and dysregulated the closer that witching hour approaches… which leaves parents feeling stressed, frustrated, and with a pit of dread in their chests on a nightly basis.
If this is you and your child, take a breath. It makes sense that this feels extremely frustrating and stressful… because it is extremely frustrating and stressful. You want the best for your kid, and you want to be able to get to sleep yourself after a long, busy day.
How to Explain Play Therapy to Your Child (Social Story)
If you’ve been considering bringing your child to Play Therapy for the first time, or you’re preparing for their first session, the question of how to talk about Play Therapy to your child has probably crossed your mind. We are sure that you want this to be a good experience for your child, and you also want to be honest about what Play Therapy is really about—it’s not a bad thing, and it doesn’t mean they have something “wrong” with them! How to communicate all there is to know about starting therapy can be daunting, so this is why Gabi has created a social story for her new clients, for those who would benefit from a more visual and structured explanation of Play Therapy.
How to Reflect Your Child's Feelings. A Child Therapist’s Examples
It is often more helpful to “talk” to the feeling part of the brain rather than the thinking part! We can do this by providing reflections to our children. So what are reflections? Reflections are when you simply state what you think your child is experiencing or feeling. You can think of yourself as a mirror to the child as you simply reflect what you feel or observe. (This is easier said than done!) Reflecting your child’s feeling is often (but not always) enough to help regulate your child’s nervous system. Children become regulated when they feel seen and “feel felt” by a safe adult. Here are a few examples of reflections you can make:
How to Tell Your Child About Divorce or Separation
Remember to focus on providing your child with information that is truthful, honest and straightforward, while also developmentally appropriate. This means you do not want to “sugar coat” what you tell them about divorce (“Mommy and daddy are living away from each other for a little while”) but instead should be direct (“Mommy and daddy are getting divorced. Divorce means we will no longer be married. We will not be getting back together.”) However, this does not mean that you need to give them every detail or bring them into adult conversations or topics.
What Kids Need to Be Resilient: 6 Attachment Basics
Struggling to connect with your child, and worried that this is affecting your relationship and their health and wellbeing? Research in the field of attachment gives you six things you can do starting now with your child daily in order to build resilience.
Best Books for Parents of ADHD, Autistic & 2e Kids
Resources for parents of kids with neurodevelopmental differences
Children’s Books about Tough Topics
Children’s books about death, loss, and divorce to friendship, bullies, and mental health.